Tag Archives: faith

Book of the Month: Charles and Emma, The Darwins’ Leap of Faith

darwins

Recently I found this gem in my library. It is a YA biography about Charles Darwin and the relationship he had with his wife Emma. Theirs was a marriage perfectly matched in every way but one: Emma believed firmly in God and Charles believed in science. Yet together they had ten kids and they were completely devoted, even through illnesses, deaths of children, and Charles’ growing ambivalence toward religion. Despite their theological differences, his wife read and edited every one of his papers, and never stopped gently trying to persuade him that some truths were found through “feeling, not reasoning.” By using many quotes from letters, diaries, and from Darwin’s own papers (which he let his kids draw pictures on the backs of), the author portrays Charles Darwin as a devoted family man who preferred to be with his Emma above all others. Although I felt the author was a little presumptive at times, and I have no idea why it is categorized as a YA, it was a fascinating read for me and gives the reader a human side of Charles Darwin beyond the image of the walking fish that gobbles the Christian symbol on cars. Most of all, I was very moved by the depth of appreciation and respect Charles and Emma had for each other. Truly they showed that two people who don’t share profound beliefs can still share a profound love. A great read.

5 Comments

Filed under reading

She That Hath Nose To Smell

Authors Note: I wrote this post a year ago but I never posted it.  With all the wonderful smells of autumn coming back to me I remembered the great deficit I had last fall. This is about how, for a few months, I completely lost my sense of smell. Or, if you are familiar with my writing, it could be about something else. cropped-vitamin-c-nicole2.jpg

I didn’t notice anything was amiss until I made the teriyaki chicken.

I got my recipe from a native Hawaiian who introduced me to The World’s Most Wonderful Ingredient: fresh ginger. Fresh ginger is amazing. It is like a lemon dressed in a kimono. Fresh and exotic and mysterious. Whenever I cut up ginger I like to take a chunk and find the nearest child and give them a whiff.  I can tell by the way they close their eyes that for a brief moment they’ve been transported to the East Indies.

But on this particular day, when I held the ginger up to my nose, I smelled nothing. Weird. Must be a bad ginger.

My teriyaki chicken recipe also calls for fresh garlic. I’m pretty sure you all know what that smells like. . . like a lemon wrapped in three or four decaying animal hides. I took several cloves, smashed them under the broad side of my knife and chopped it up. (I don’t take chunks of garlic around to my children and hold it under their noses because I want them to trust me.) But, out of curiosity I smelled my fingers. Nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is garlic.

I smelled it again. Nothing.

Maybe . . . bad garlic?

Mystified, I tossed it into the teriyaki sauce anyway–along with the odorless ginger–and poured the mixture on the chicken, put it in the oven, and set the time. Forty-five minutes later my daughter comes into the house from cross-country practice and exclaims, “What is that wonderful smell?!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “What is it?”

“It smells like . . . teriyaki chicken!”

It was then that I first realized something was wrong with my nose. It is true that for part of September and October I had been sick, but I didn’t think I was that stuffed up.  Now it dawned on me that I couldn’t smell anything, and I hadn’t for a very long time. I couldn’t smell if the rag at the sink is too old or not. I couldn’t smell the pizza my friend brought into the house. I  couldn’t smell the candle at the party I went to. And worst of all, I couldn’t smell any of the fall, Octobery smells I love, including pumpkin bread or apple pie.

As the days went by and my sense of smell did not return I realized I had lost one of my most trusted tools. How would I tell if the meat in the fridge had gone bad? How would I know if my bread was done? Or burning?

When we carved out pumpkins I made special efforts to clean and dry the pumpkins seeds, and then put them in the oven. After a while I checked on them and they were burnt to a crisp. I hadn’t even noticed.

In the past I prided myself in my sense of smell. I could be upstairs and know what kind of cereal my child was pouring down in the kitchen. I could smell honeysuckle from 50 yards away. When I was pregnant I had an even more powerful sniffer. I could walk into the house and tell wether or not my husband was wearing his retainer. I was that good.

And now that tool was gone. I could smell absolutely nothing. You would be surprised how often a mother needs her nose. Ninety percent of the tasks I do during the day involve the eradication of bad smells of one kind or another. Now what was I to do?

After weeks of not being able to smell anything it starts to wear on your mind. You start to think things like, Perhaps all those smells I had once smelled were just figments of my imagination and I’ve never really smelled anything at all? Or perhaps odors don’t exist? Or perhaps everyone else who can smell things is crazy and I am the only one who really understands that there were no smells, there has never been smells and there will never be smells!

Think deeply about that for a moment.

This is definitely a sense which I took for granted. And the biggest loser was my youngest son.

One Sunday I sat with my two-year-old on my lap all during church. Afterwards I dropped him off in nursery and then skipped (inwardly, at least) to class, only to have the door open and long arms hand me my son with the message that he needed a diaper change. Immediately. When I went to change him I discovered that he had LONG been in need of a diaper change.

This happened two more times over the next few days, simply because I could not smell that he needed a change until the damage was done and a rash had appeared.

I realized that, at least for the present time, I would have to rely on the noses of others to help me smell. I had my daughters smell the dish rag to see if it needed to be washed. I had to have my kids and husband let me know when my two-year-old needed to be changed (because he wasn’t going to tell me.) Other things I had to be more vigilant about like making sure my 5-year-old son got a bath every three days. At least.

There might be some of you out there that may have lost a “sense” that you relied on in the past.  If so, don’t fret. Just because you can’t smell it anymore, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Just because you are surrounded by people who can smell and you can’t, doesn’t mean you are crazy . . . or that they are. It is just temporary. No need to do anything drastic. Sooner or later your sense will come back to you and you will smell it all again: the good smells, the iffy smells and the smells who need to be sent to the tub.

Two days ago I smelled pumpkin cookies . . . and the chili at our ward party . . . and my son’s dirty diaper. And it made me grateful that most lapses in judgement, peace of mind, or faith don’t always last for very long if we are willing to hold out. One must recognize when one is in an abnormal state and be patient for things to settle back in place. And when it does you will be wiser, more grateful, and more aware than ever of whatever it was that you lost.

For what it is worth.

 

But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.  Matthew 13:16-17

cropped-vitamin-c-nicole2.jpg

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Religion, Faith and Violence

She was stay-at-home mom and a college graduate. She was devout in her religion, and is described in the newspaper as being very “religious” and “conservative.”

Words that could also describe me.

In many ways Tashfeen Malik and I had much in common.

One of the most, if not the most, disturbing things for me about Sept 11 attacks was that these were done by people who believed devoutly in God. So devoutly that they would do anything for Him, even the unspeakable.

The husband and wife who attacked a holiday party last week were similar. They embraced a radicalized faith that completely warped their sense of civility and humanity and drove them to do something undeniably evil.

And worse, they did it in the name of God.

As President Obama said on Sunday, terrorism “has evolved into a new phase” but that “we will overcome it.”

He listed off methods he planned on using to overcome it: Intelligence, airstrikes, gun control . . . and when I hear this I think about all the money it will cost, and I think of how pointless it will be.

Because you can’t fight this “new phase” of terrorism from the outside in. I know, because, as a devoutly religious person myself, I know how powerful faith can be.

You can make it harder for suspicious people to enter the country. You can drop bombs on their bunkers and cut off their sources of finance, you can send out your drones and your sophisticated weaponry, but you can’t fight ideas.

This is not a war of intelligence, it is a war of hearts.

The Wall Street Journal recently published an article by Johnathan Sacks, the former chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the British Commonwealth entitled “Turning Swords into Plowshares: How to Defeat Religious Violence.”  I recommend it to all. In the article Sacks explains that the only way to defeat religious violence is with religious devotion.

He says, “We must raise a generation of young Jews, Christians, Muslims and others to know that it is not piety but sacrilege to kill in the name of the God of life, hate in the name of the God of love, wage war in the name of the God of peace, and practice cruelty in the name of the God of compassion.”

Religion is powerful. Like government, it creates a social structure, laws and communities, but unlike government, it provides a spiritual identity, a purpose and a mission. Government may feed us, organize us, help us live our lives, but religion gives us the reason to live.  The words of a prophet will always have more power to create action among the masses than a president because a prophet’s message–even if it has been misinterpreted or twisted–transcends borders, oceans, walls and barriers.

Never underestimate the power to belong, the desire to make a difference or the need for purpose in a young person’s life. The government cannot grant this the way religion can.

Eboo Patel, a Muslim, said in his book Acts of Faith: “Many mainstream religious institutions ignore young people or, worse, think their role should be limited to designing the annual T-shirt. By contrast, religious extremists build their institutions around the desire of young people to have a clear identity and make a powerful impact.”

I find it mind-blowing how young these extremists recruit their henchmen . . . sometimes at eight years old. Are we doing the same on our side? Are we as thorough when it comes to giving children a religious belief that is cemented in love, compassion and respect for God and others?

One way we can do this is by teaching our children that first amendment rights are there to protect all religions and not just our own.

Sacks says, “We must put the same long-term planning into strengthening religious freedom as was put into the spread of religious extremism.”

I like what the president said in his call to Muslim leaders in his Sunday address. He said that Muslim leaders must “speak out against not just acts of violence, but also those interpretations of Islam that are incompatible with the values of religious tolerance, mutual respect, and human dignity.”

This could be said to every religion. No matter how “true” you think your religion is, you are not better than anyone else. No matter how “righteous” you think you are, that does not give you a right to inflict violence on innocent people. And before we are Muslims, Jews, Christians or Mormons we are children of God.  Children. Children who unfortunately fight and argue and act like we are better than each other.

A few years ago I sat next to a Muslim woman on a 2 1/2 hour flight. We talked the entire time. We talked about her home country, Iran. We talked about her husband, her kids, her education. I told to her about my kids and the book I was writing. We even talked about the conversation no-nos:  politics, religion and sex. I found I had more in common with her than with my Baptist neighbor. I marveled out loud at her dedication to modesty (I had considered myself pretty modest in my cap sleeves and knee-length skirt), and she in turn was impressed that I refused to drink coffee. I could not help admiring her for her faith, and I felt that she shared the same admiration for me.

Right now it is Christmas, and we are celebrating the birth of Christ. It is a time when we all should reflect inward on what we believe and why. What are our religious motives?  Do we feel that we are better than others? Do we feel like, since we have found our true religion, that God does not speak and inspire others to do good or that they are somehow unworthy to be treated with respect and protection?

“The Saints can testify whether I am willing to lay down my life for my brethren. If it has been demonstrated that I have been willing to die for a ‘Mormon,’ I am bold to declare before Heaven that I am just as ready to die in defending the rights of a Presbyterian, a Baptist, or a good man of any other denomination; for the same principle which would trample upon the rights of the Latter-day Saints would trample upon the rights of the Roman Catholics, or of any other denomination who may be unpopular and too weak to defend themselves.

“If I esteem mankind to be in error, shall I bear them down? No. I will lift them up, and in their own way too, if I cannot persuade them my way is better; and I will not seek to compel any man to believe as I do, only by the force of reasoning, for truth will cut its own way.

“We ought always to be aware of those prejudices which sometimes so strangely present themselves, and are so congenial to human nature, against our friends, neighbors, and brethren of the world, who choose to differ from us in opinion and in matters of faith. Our religion is between us and our God. Their religion is between them and their God.”

–Joseph Smith

cropped-vitamin-c-nicole2.jpg

 

 

10 Comments

Filed under Strange Mormon Customs, Uncategorized